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Every Sunday, my son, Mark, and I would take a walk together.
We’d been taking these walks for two years now, ever since my wife died.
No matter how tired I was, no matter how much paperwork waited on my desk or how many emails sat unanswered, we walked. Just the two of us.
Mark needed it. Heck, I needed it too.
Every Sunday, my son, Mark, and I would take a walk together.
He’s a bright kid. Gentle in ways that scare me sometimes because the world isn’t gentle back.
Since his mom passed, everything feels sharper for him. He flinches at sudden noises and asks questions I don’t know how to answer.
He watches me like he’s waiting for me to disappear, too.
Some days I still forget she’s gone. I’ll turn to tell her something, and the space where she stood is just empty air.
Since his mom passed, everything feels sharper for him.
Those moments gut me every time, but I can’t let Mark see that.
I can’t let him know that his dad is 36 years old and doesn’t have a clue how to do this alone.
So we walk.
That day, the sky was that pale blue that looks washed out. A few other families were out, along with the usual assortment of couples walking dogs and joggers with earbuds.
It was a perfectly normal day, until it wasn’t.
Those moments gut me every time, but I can’t let Mark see that.
We were halfway around the lake when he stopped so suddenly that I almost bumped into him.
“Mark?”
He didn’t answer. He was staring down into the grass like he’d spotted buried treasure. Then he crouched, reached out, and pulled something free from the weeds.
A teddy bear.
He stopped so suddenly that I almost bumped into him.
And not just any teddy bear — this thing was disgusting.
The fur was matted and muddy, one eye was missing, and there was a big rip in its back. It looked like the stuffing was lumpy and dry.
Anyone else would have left it there, but Mark clutched it tight against his chest.
“Buddy,” I crouched beside him, “it’s dirty. Really dirty. Let’s leave it, okay?”
His fingers tightened around the bear.
Mark clutched it tight against his chest.
“We can’t leave him. He’s special.”
His breathing changed. I saw that look in his eyes — the faraway, “about to cry, but trying so hard not to” look that broke me every single time.
“Alright. We’ll take him home.”
When we got back, I spent an hour cleaning that bear. Maybe longer.
“We can’t leave him.”
It would’ve gone faster if I’d soaked the teddy, but Mark asked if he’d be able to sleep with it that night.
To ensure it would dry fast enough, I avoided getting it too wet.
I soaped it up, gave it a good scrub, then used the wet and dry vacuum to suck up all the dirt. It took a couple of passes before it looked clean.
Last of all, I disinfected it with rubbing alcohol.
It took a couple of passes before it looked clean.
I carefully stitched up the torn seam in the back.
Mark watched the entire time, standing close, touching the bear every few minutes like he needed to make sure it stayed real, asking when Bear would be ready.
That night, when I tucked Mark into bed, he held Bear close. I stood there for a moment, watching him fall asleep.
Then I reached down to adjust the blanket one more time, and something happened that shook me to the core.
When I tucked Mark into bed, he held Bear close.
My hand brushed Bear’s belly.
Inside, something clicked.
Static burst from the toy’s core. Loud. Sudden.
Then a voice, tiny and trembling, seeped through the fabric.
“Mark, I know it’s you. Help me.”
My blood turned to ice.
Static burst from the toy’s core.
I stared at the bear, my heart pounding so hard I could feel it in my throat.
That wasn’t a song, a prerecorded giggle, or some creepy toy malfunction.
That was a human voice.
A child’s voice.
And they had said my son’s name out loud.
They had said my son’s name out loud.
I looked at Mark.
He was still asleep, miraculously.
Then I grabbed the bear as gently as I could, sliding it from Mark’s grip without waking him.
I backed out of the room, easing the door almost closed.
My mind was racing through terrible possibilities.
I grabbed the bear as gently as I could
Was this some kind of prank? A surveillance device?
Was someone watching us?
I carried the bear down the hall like it might explode.
In the kitchen, I set it down on the table under the bright overhead light and ripped open the seam I’d so carefully closed a few hours earlier.
Was someone watching us?
Stuffing spilled out onto the table. I reached inside and felt something hard.
I pulled it out and stared at it in shock.
It was a small plastic box with a speaker and a button, all held together by duct tape.
While I was examining it, the voice spoke again.
“Mark? Mark, can you hear me?”